These two simple but effective questions can accelerate your EQ with your boss.
Do You Understand Your Boss?
Getting to know what makes people tick isn’t easy. But I have a tool that really helps me, especially at the beginning. It’s about asking two simple questions that uncover a number of ways you can be more effective with and for your boss.
The Two Questions
- What is your boss most afraid of at work? (Or what do they worry about?)
- What really gets your boss really jazzed at work?
How Does This Work?
Very simply, observe your boss in your one-on-ones, in team meetings, in meetings with her peers and/or superiors. What seems to stress her out? What seems to excite her? What types of deliverables, information or tasks does she find most engaging?
What Gets Your Boss Jazzed?
For example, one of my bosses LOVED chocolate. I’m not talking about your garden variety chocaholic – she was something special. I noticed that there was an extra spring in her step every time she had chocolate, and it seemed to improve her day dramatically. So, I found special chocolates every now and then to punctuate our already strong effective relationship. She was a very strong person, and didn’t need a lot of TLC most of the time, but I think my little reminders that I was there for her helped on especially hard days.
Another boss I had loved information presented in a certain way. If you could get it all onto one page, he was ecstatic. I usually did my best to do this, and I always noticed a slightly bigger smile on his face when I presented my documents to him. It just made his day that someone really “got” him and made an effort to speak his preferred language.
What is Your Boss Afraid of?
One of my bosses was really intimidated by his boss. He would get a little more flustered before his meetings with his superior, vent a little here and there about the difference in their styles. Fortunately, I was really good at presenting updates to my boss in a way that he could use directly with his boss. I did this for a little while, and then explained later what I had been doing. My boss just looked at me and thanked me simply and honestly. I was making things easier for him to communicate up, which I think built a sense of camaraderie.
One of my bosses was always worrying about missing deadlines. Her team was responsible for a tremendous amount of activity, so not only was she tracking her own project timelines, she was tracking the timelines associated with four other people, too. I found that sometimes, she needed to be interrupted to be told that we were falling behind on something. I would do this immediately, simply, quickly and concisely. At first, it felt a little strange to knock on her door while she was focused on a project. But I soon saw that it really worked for her: she highly valued knowing about potential problems, because it meant she could do something about it. She also sensed over time that I really had her back and was aligned with her values and goals.
Over Time…
I’ve studied a lot of personality type paradigms, and while I find those really helpful in general, I find my two questions very effective. I use it to identify opportunities to team with, instill trust and overall support my bosses. Two questions aren’t enough to really get to know someone, but it can help accelerate the get-to-know-you process considerably.
